I can't even say that you just say that cuz you're a guy. You plumb flushed the punchline.

Real good advice. Otherwise you're exactly like my brother's ex-wife, sitting around the fabric shop with a cadre of extremely bitter, extremely vindictive .... you know the noun. Developing or reinforcing each other's worst sh#t.

In my social life, regardless of gender, I am a communist. "From each according to his ability, to each according to his need." It should be done deftly and with grace.

Mostly, this was the Millness Rant & Vent thread.

Hope you're feeling better, Millness. I know you're a helluva guy. Start keeping better company, including with yourself.

You know I think you're the coolest, lil bart.

This is, in retrospect. a fair interpretation.



That wasn’t my attitude at all. I saw us as partners, each contributing different efforts to create a healthy loving household for each other and our children.

What I asked in return for my contiribution to the partnership was fidelity, respect, and a recognition that each of us was making an important contribution.

That gaggle of fabric shop bitches sure gets around. Has anybody else noticed that women always seem to have that "support" network ("hang him!"), while guys tend to undergo divorce alone.

I see that. I could just as well have presumed that, and that it was hurt feelings that led to the anger. It so very often is. In your case it could well have added just insult to injury.

It's also quite possible that I am not quite as perfect and lovable as I've always thought I was.

You've an easy way about you.

What else I have noticed is that men do not see it coming. I have known more than man married for nigh onto 20 years whose wife leaves and it catches him absolutely on the blind side.

But men just don't "do their gender" in a way that lends them to mutual bitching parties. Believe me, my mother & I have spent zillions more hours saying nasty things about my brother's ex (including more than a few before we had a clue as to divorce) than even he has ever managaed to think.

But enough joking.

Yup. We don't see it coming, and when it arrives we don't seek discussion or advice from family or friends.

To generalize, men see divorce as a private failure, women as a "new beginning.

Somebody correct my typos, wouldja please. My proofreader is on holiday (again).

As to the truth that is in this generalization, that owes to the centuries when women had little other choice. It can be a new beginning. They can have one. That is only recently true.

With children involved, by and large I think it proves to be a bad deal all 'round. That's why I wish so many of these things could be worked out better beforehand, as well as expectations -- and responsibilities -- made more realistic.

Don't overlook entirely though the numbers of women left for newer models. Did not that used to be much the "norm" of divorce?

I work in mysterious ways. And, no small thanks to the constant harassment by a.v. and b.k., I am certainly keeping it simpler, lately.

Yey.

Off to pick up the g/f from the airport.

Laters.

Pretty much, and still a big slice of problem today, particularly among top earners.

Still, this new found freedom for women to move on without "cause" has set many men back a bit.

As with the other areas of rapid social change, a "backlash" effect is developing.

I suppose it is more accurate that "new beginning" is the attitude of the person who files (2/3 women).

In CA the punishment meted out to guys who traded in for a newer model is now identical to that of the guy who gets dumped cause she found a Chippendale dancer.

He: Are you free tonight?

She: No, but I'll be reasonable.

Chippendale dancers are all gay, Wardlet; sheesh. Update! And they dance for gay guyz. Gay or straight, guys are into the eye-fix thing. Ya dig?

I find Chippendale dancers absolutely creepy and repulsively unattractive. And no, I ain't just sayin' that.

Oh. Well, OK.

Replace Chippendale dancer with "sensitive struggling artist with a substance abuse problem who gives the impression he appreciates her for who she really is."

That'll work.

You? Millness? SpaceDude?

I know fer sure it ain't Bart.

This is the key part. The rest can be variable.

Yunno.. I'm really beginning to like this blog...

How to Impress a Woman

Wine her, Dine her,
Call her, Hug her,
Hold her, Surprise her,
Compliment her, Smile at her,
Laugh with her, Cry with her,
Romance her, Believe in her,
Pray with her, Pray for her,
Cuddle with her, Shop with her,
Give her jewelry, Buy her flowers,
Hold her hand, Write love letters to her,
Go to the end of the Earth and back again for her.

How to Impress A Man

Show up naked. Bring food. Don't block the TV.

Women may use this joke of an example of what a bunch of boring, single-minded louts men are, but I think that it illustrates something else: how demanding and spoiled women are. Women really do expect all of this stuff. They expect to be insulated from the boring, everyday problems of life. They don't just enjoy being "swept off their feet," they expect it. Esther Vilar was right: women simply assume that men are their workhorses, there to make money for them, fix things for them, lift heavy stuff, and "sweep them off their feet." Feminism isn't a movement for equality; instead, it was just women becoming enraged that they should have to do anything at all to deserve this special treatment. As one female acquaintance of mine put it, "Our presence is our gift to you."

This is one of the biggest irritants that rankles me: the smug, cheerful opinion of most women I meet that they are superior to men, and that men exist for their convenience and entertainment. That, and the petulant pique they display when their men are not being helpful or entertaining enough. At street level, women are today's aristocracy.

Hardly.

I'm talking about the seriously slick pussy hounds who women leave their husbands for. None of them post here. They are busy boinking this month's catch.

Don't even get me started on women who cheat.

Sometimes married women can be safer in some respects.

Dating Advice for Men, Fourth in a Series

Any habit, eccentricity, or hobby of yours that she calls "cute" will go from "cute" to objectionable after the marriage. She will, in the end, make it her mission to rid you of just these things that she once referred to as "cute." She will nag you until you finally drop them.

So, why are they "cute" now? Because the bloom is still on the rose, and she's trying to ignore things about you that she finds annoying or gross by calling them "cute." After you're married, she won't feel compelled to ignore them, and they'll stop being "cute."

Never marry a woman who calls something "cute" that you're not willing to give up. Never, ever marry a woman who calls everything you do, "cute."

Millness, quit being a bonehead.

These are the kinds of hopeless idiots I don't waste time worrying about.

LOL it's the damned truth.

[quote=Human Ills,Jan 2 2005, 08:04 PM]
Millness, quit being a bonehead.
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LOL it's the damned truth.
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No, sir, it is not. There's not even a "healthy dose" of truth there, not more than a kernel, but I sure the hell do not have the energy or interest to paint out a conversely idiotic "why men stink" rant. I have mustered enough to tell you that it is not healthy for you to go sideways into spirals twisting your thinking so. Get out more or get out of wherever you are.

If I did go off on all men sideways, would you not have to think it was a little bit about you??

You are being a big stubborn baby. Most men are big babies. Ever'body know dat.

I didn't think of it that way.

You're just afraid that one day all men will wake up and share my vision of the world.

I'm too far gone for that. I'm just resigned to women taking advantage of me.

This should be the point that barta tells ya to shush yerself Bart, 'cause you ain't helping.

You are not seeing people; you are filling up your noggin with nonsense.




Uh-huh.




Now, see, Millness? A man who knows how to enjoy hisself -- and what to wish for.




Reread for comprehension.

True.

But that rant had a good line.

"At street level, women are today's aristocracy."

barta disagrees that is the case. Maybe it's a California thing.
Except the fellow I pilfered from is a Canadian.

I didn't agree with all of it, but the general trend toward feminization of the workplace, schools and family control fulcrum is undeniable.

I don't understand how I can post something someone else wrote, have it ring true for me, only to be told it's all a lie. I don't know what I'm talking about. My experience is flawed or limited. And so on and so forth.
Bart knows how to relax and enjoy life, and what to wish for, but I have a problem because I personally don't find any pleasure in the status quo. Forget it.

I guess I've reverted to the 4F philosphy we learned in high school.

Yeah, and I'm stuck on Forget 'em.

That "at street level, women are today's aristocracy?" I don't really know what that means.

Heck, and you ain't even been married yet. It must (really ) be tough. And you're at the age/stage where probably most women do either want to get married or already have been and have kids in tow.

Cheery up there, boy. I've seen your picture on the mountaintop.

A woman with kids is now the head of the family. If underclass poor, she can call upon the resources of the State's safety net. If working class or middle class, she can muster the police power of the State to extract payment from the hapless sperm doner turned paycheck.

ARRGH!