Full Version: Gender Wars!!!!!
NO means YES is a game for young effers-- women and men.
QUOTE(Nomarchy @ Jan 2 2005, 01:34 PM)
I did come with the idea myself. Apparently, others did so, as well.
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Kudos. It was bound to happen. If men's "good ol' boy" club image was as strong in reality as it is in myth, the idea would have been codified by now.
QUOTE(Ward @ Jan 2 2005, 01:36 PM)
NO means YES is a game for young effers-- women and men.
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I don't find the game exciting. I find intimacy exciting. Which places me at the far end of the male spectrum.
QUOTE(Human Ills @ Jan 2 2005, 02:38 PM)
I don't find the game exciting. I find intimacy exciting. Which places me at the far end of the male spectrum.
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Strike two. This is getting eerie. And yes, I would gladly spot you $20. Now, would you help me save a few hundred bucks by helping me locate and install a new cat. converter, changing the part of the exhaust closest to the engine, and cleaning and/or changing the EGR valve?
I'll write strongly-worded letters for you, any time and for any topic/issue.
QUOTE(Nomarchy @ Jan 2 2005, 01:42 PM)
Strike two. This is getting eerie. And yes, I would gladly spot you $20. Now, would you help me save a few hundred bucks by helping me locate and install a new cat. converter, changing the part of the exhaust closest to the engine, and cleaning and/or changing the EGR valve?
I'll write strongly-worded letters for you, any time and for any topic/issue.
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I'll write strongly-worded letters for you, any time and for any topic/issue.
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LOL, All I can do from here is talk you through it. Trust me, there's nothing to it.
QUOTE(Human Ills @ Jan 2 2005, 02:38 PM)
I don't find the game exciting. I find intimacy exciting. Which places me at the far end of the male spectrum.
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I rarely enjoyed the dating game. Women seem to love it.
QUOTE(Human Ills @ Jan 2 2005, 02:37 PM)
Kudos. It was bound to happen. If men's "good ol' boy" club image was as strong in reality as it is in myth, the idea would have been codified by now.
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That's why it's important to think in terms of "hegemonic masculinity" and of masculinitIES in general.
In the end, we must all cease being "prisoners of gender".
There are "good ol' boy" networks. Not all "boys" are members thereof, nor are all such networks equally powerful.
QUOTE(Ward @ Jan 2 2005, 02:44 PM)
I rarely enjoyed the dating game. Women seem to love it.
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Some women seem to love it.
QUOTE(Ward @ Jan 2 2005, 01:44 PM)
I rarely enjoyed the dating game. Women seem to love it.
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Well duh! It's all about impressing them, not the other way around. I've dated a few women that had little to offer, "oh well", I thought to myself "maybe they make up for it in bed." Nuh-uh, that they might fall short of our expectations isn't even given a first thought.
To explain, we are all prisoners of gender whenever we persist in or insist on 'accounting for' our own and others' behavior, speech, thought patterns, etc. on the basis of their membership in a 'sex category' (male or female).
QUOTE(Nomarchy @ Jan 2 2005, 01:46 PM)
That's why it's important to think in terms of "hegemonic masculinity" and of masculinitIES in general.
In the end, we must all cease being "prisoners of gender".
There are "good ol' boy" networks. Not all "boys" are members thereof, nor are all such networks equally powerful.
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In the end, we must all cease being "prisoners of gender".
There are "good ol' boy" networks. Not all "boys" are members thereof, nor are all such networks equally powerful.
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Yes, we all must cease to be prisoners of gender. It's to both genders' advantage. But I don't see women lining up to give up the advantage they have in the here and now.
QUOTE(Human Ills @ Jan 2 2005, 02:49 PM)
Well duh! It's all about impressing them, not the other way around. I've dated a few women that had little to offer, "oh well", I thought to myself "maybe they make up for it in bed." Nuh-uh, that they might fall short of our expectations isn't even given a first thought.
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Do you have sisters? Do you have any close heterosexual female friends?
QUOTE(Nomarchy @ Jan 2 2005, 01:53 PM)
Do you have sisters? Do you have any close heterosexual female friends?
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No. No. I understand that maybe they fret before the event about impressing the guy. But when the curtain raises......they hit their marks.
QUOTE(Human Ills @ Jan 2 2005, 02:56 PM)
No. No. I understand that maybe they fret before the event about impressing the guy. But when the curtain raises......they hit their marks.
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Get some. Hmm, alright, get some close, heterosexual female friends. Just for the insights, ya know?
QUOTE(Nomarchy @ Jan 2 2005, 02:01 PM)
Get some. Hmm, alright, get some close, heterosexual female friends. Just for the insights, ya know?
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I've had, people grow apart as marriages add up and careers take their toll. I work in an industry thats over 95% male. Can't really go out and get female friends, just for the wanting.
QUOTE(Human Ills @ Jan 2 2005, 03:06 PM)
I've had, people grow apart as marriages add up and careers take their toll. I work in an industry thats over 95% male. Can't really go out and get female friends, just for the wanting.
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I know what you mean. I was being sort of glib.
Like good same-sex friendships, good cross-sex friendships cannot be 'manufactured'.
okay, your cat is the canister in your exhaust system before the muffler. If you are lucky, there is a flange on the engine side, right next to the cat.
If not, you'll have to cut your cat out, leave about 3 or so inches of straight pipe on either side. You can then attach your aftermarket cat. The local auto parts store sells universal pipe clamps that will seal both splices.
The O2 sensor is screwed into a bung on your exhaust pipe. you can't miss it. It will be right after the four individual pipes go into one in the case of your four cylinder vehicle. It has three or four wires attached to it. Disconnect the wires at the nearest connector and unscrew the sensor. Apply anti-seize lube to the new sensor, screw it in. connect the wire at the connector. zip tie the wires to make sure they don't come in contact with the pipes.
Clean the MAF. that is the sensor just upstream of the airbox(the box that houses the airfilter) be careful not to break the filiment when you open up the sensor. Use electrical contact cleaner to clean the filiment and sensor (do not place the nozzle too close or you will damage the filiment and be out an additional $100 or so.) start from 18 to 12 inches away.
I've never cleaned an egr valve, I'd say just replace it.
This is all in addition to a tune up. New plugs, inspect plug wires (probably good in your case) New air filter and PCV filter(positive crankcase ventilation sounds worse than it is about a $3 part))
Then you should clear the memory in your cars computer.
I am still concerned that you say you are "burning" oil.
Burning oil implies that either your rings or your valves need attention.
Using oil(leaking) implies that you have a bad seal somewhere.
Burning oil will certainly show up in a smog test.
Leaking oil is the kind of thing that you can live with forever as long as you keep the level topped off.
If not, you'll have to cut your cat out, leave about 3 or so inches of straight pipe on either side. You can then attach your aftermarket cat. The local auto parts store sells universal pipe clamps that will seal both splices.
The O2 sensor is screwed into a bung on your exhaust pipe. you can't miss it. It will be right after the four individual pipes go into one in the case of your four cylinder vehicle. It has three or four wires attached to it. Disconnect the wires at the nearest connector and unscrew the sensor. Apply anti-seize lube to the new sensor, screw it in. connect the wire at the connector. zip tie the wires to make sure they don't come in contact with the pipes.
Clean the MAF. that is the sensor just upstream of the airbox(the box that houses the airfilter) be careful not to break the filiment when you open up the sensor. Use electrical contact cleaner to clean the filiment and sensor (do not place the nozzle too close or you will damage the filiment and be out an additional $100 or so.) start from 18 to 12 inches away.
I've never cleaned an egr valve, I'd say just replace it.
This is all in addition to a tune up. New plugs, inspect plug wires (probably good in your case) New air filter and PCV filter(positive crankcase ventilation sounds worse than it is about a $3 part))
Then you should clear the memory in your cars computer.
I am still concerned that you say you are "burning" oil.
Burning oil implies that either your rings or your valves need attention.
Using oil(leaking) implies that you have a bad seal somewhere.
Burning oil will certainly show up in a smog test.
Leaking oil is the kind of thing that you can live with forever as long as you keep the level topped off.
QUOTE(Nomarchy @ Jan 2 2005, 02:11 PM)
I know what you mean. I was being sort of glib.
Like good same-sex friendships, good cross-sex friendships cannot be 'manufactured'.
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Like good same-sex friendships, good cross-sex friendships cannot be 'manufactured'.
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I know. It's good advice nontheless.
For cutting out pieces of an exhaust system still attached to the car, I would recommend a Sawzall (Electric reciprocating saw) with a fine blade. Or one of those mini, tight space hacksaws they sell at a hardware store. A regular sized hacksaw would be a pain in the ass, and you want to cut it out without pulling the exhaust system out of place. I forgot to mention that you should have the replacement cat on hand first. That will show you exactly where to make the cuts.
It is assumed that the woman must wait, motionless, until she is wooed. That is how the spider waits for the fly.
George Bernard Shaw
George Bernard Shaw
All this cat cutting and bung hole stuff is getting me worried.
The grannie link is fixed, BTW
The grannie link is fixed, BTW
When women kiss, it always reminds me of prize fighters shaking hands.
H.L. Mencken
H.L. Mencken
QUOTE(Bart Katz @ Jan 2 2005, 02:40 PM)
All this cat cutting and bung hole stuff is getting me worried.
The grannie link is fixed, BTW
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The grannie link is fixed, BTW
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Them sawzalls is the best.
QUOTE(SpaceCowboy @ Jan 2 2005, 02:41 PM)
Them sawzalls is the best.
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Yep. Can be a bit pricey for those that aren't tool hounds like myself though.
A hacksaw under the car will flat wear your ass out. 
QUOTE(Bart Katz @ Jan 2 2005, 02:43 PM)
A hacksaw under the car will flat wear your ass out.
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Don't discourage the ol' bean. I'm trying to save him a few hundred dollars.
Besides, he said he had friends with tools, at least I told him what tool to borrow.
A man may be a fool and not know it, but not if he is married.
H.L. Mencken
H.L. Mencken
Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
Alexandre Dumas
Alexandre Dumas
I know a lot of women who use men, but the world is not perfect. Fifty years ago there was Hitler; now there are bitches everywhere.
Julie Delpy, actress
Julie Delpy, actress
He who falls into the snares of women is like a bird that falls into the hands of a little silly child: the child plays with it merrily and is glad, but meanwhile the bird endures the pains of death, and undergoes all manner of tortures.
Kevin Solway
Kevin Solway
QUOTE(Human Ills @ Jan 2 2005, 03:46 PM)
Besides, he said he had friends with tools, at least I told him what tool to borrow.
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Indeed. Thanks, brother!
Times are changed with him who marries; there are no more by-path meadows, where you may innocently linger, but the road lies long and straight and dusty to the grave.
Robert Louis Stevenson
Robert Louis Stevenson
Lady Astor: Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your tea.
Sir Winston Churchill: Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it.
Sir Winston Churchill
Sir Winston Churchill: Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it.
Sir Winston Churchill
He was reputed one of the wise men that made answer to the question when a man should marry? 'A young man not yet, and an elder man not at all.'
Francis Bacon
Francis Bacon
Dating Advice for Men, First in a Series
When a woman tells you that she's free on Thursday, she is not referring to how much she's going to cost you.
When a woman tells you that she's free on Thursday, she is not referring to how much she's going to cost you.
Never confuse someone fighting for more for themselves with someone fighting for a principle. The fate of all revolutions, from communism to the Zapatista revolution to feminism, is that after the revolution has won any substantial portion of its fight for principles, the next wave of revolutionaries devolves into a mob fighting for selfish gain rather than noble purpose, using the noble purpose as thin justification. This is where mainstream feminism is right now.
This is why, for feminists, "equality" is just a word to use as a weapon.
The scrupulous and the just, the noble, humane, and devoted natures; the unselfish and the intelligent may begin a movement—but it passes away from them. They are not the leaders of a revolution. They are its victims.
— Joseph Conrad, Under Western Eyes (1911), Part II, ch. 3
Buster B 13:34
This is why, for feminists, "equality" is just a word to use as a weapon.
The scrupulous and the just, the noble, humane, and devoted natures; the unselfish and the intelligent may begin a movement—but it passes away from them. They are not the leaders of a revolution. They are its victims.
— Joseph Conrad, Under Western Eyes (1911), Part II, ch. 3
Buster B 13:34
QUOTE(Human Ills @ Jan 2 2005, 04:03 PM)
Dating Advice for Men, First in a Series
When a woman tells you that she's free on Thursday, she is not referring to how much she's going to cost you.
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When a woman tells you that she's free on Thursday, she is not referring to how much she's going to cost you.
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I'll pay (while, when I am not in a relationship) for the first and second date. That's it. After that, a nice loose reciprocity plan works.
The funniest thing is for a woman to ask you out and then expect that you pick up the tab.
QUOTE
And one last caveat; handle with care! Don't ask any of these questions unless you're also prepared to answer the same or similar ones yourself.
The Questions:
1. What do you think is the biggest mistake that men tend to make in relationships? (This will tell you a lot about what turns her off and also about her attitude toward men in general.)
2. Do you think that men tend to be too macho or too sensitive?
3. What are the qualities of your ideal relationship?
4. Have you ever gone out with a guy who was a Challenge? (Have her describe how he was a Challenge and how she responded to it.)
5. What's the most important thing that men don't understand about women that they should?
6. Have you ever had your heart broken? (The more beautiful she is, the more likely the answer will be no. It's actually better if the answer is yes. A girl whose heart has been broken has some humility.)
7. What scares you the most about opening your heart to a man?
8. Were you usually the dumper or the dumpee in your past relationships?
9. Do you feel that you've ever had a truly successful relationship?
10. Why did your last relationship fail? (Note: Does she take any responsibility or was it all her ex-boyfriend's fault?)
The Questions:
1. What do you think is the biggest mistake that men tend to make in relationships? (This will tell you a lot about what turns her off and also about her attitude toward men in general.)
2. Do you think that men tend to be too macho or too sensitive?
3. What are the qualities of your ideal relationship?
4. Have you ever gone out with a guy who was a Challenge? (Have her describe how he was a Challenge and how she responded to it.)
5. What's the most important thing that men don't understand about women that they should?
6. Have you ever had your heart broken? (The more beautiful she is, the more likely the answer will be no. It's actually better if the answer is yes. A girl whose heart has been broken has some humility.)
7. What scares you the most about opening your heart to a man?
8. Were you usually the dumper or the dumpee in your past relationships?
9. Do you feel that you've ever had a truly successful relationship?
10. Why did your last relationship fail? (Note: Does she take any responsibility or was it all her ex-boyfriend's fault?)
Top 10 Questions To Ask Your Date
QUOTE(Nomarchy @ Jan 2 2005, 03:08 PM)
I'll pay (while, when I am not in a relationship) for the first and second date. That's it. After that, a nice loose reciprocity plan works.
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When I was broke, that was my attitude, but if I find myself seeing someone that can't really afford to date, I tend to pay.
QUOTE(Human Ills @ Jan 2 2005, 04:19 PM)
When I was broke, that was my attitude, but if I find myself seeing someone that can't really afford to date, I tend to pay.
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Well, of course. That's the mark of an adult human being, male or female.
LOL now that I've been called an adult, I don't really know what to do with my teen-angst.
QUOTE
A woman can feel so comfortable with you that she actually will confess things to you that she really, truly never has told anyone else, ever. (Sometimes you can wind up hearing more than you'd ever want or need to know.) And she can share all of that without having any physical or romantic attraction to you whatsoever. There are thousands of Teddy Bear guys out there whom women regularly use as their therapists, who, sadly, will verify what I've just told you.
Once She Says No, You're Gone
QUOTE(Human Ills @ Jan 2 2005, 11:36 AM)
What about the idea of punishing women who make a false accusation of rape?
I've long held that people that bring a case to trial should face the same penalties of the accused, should they be found to be fabricating.
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I've long held that people that bring a case to trial should face the same penalties of the accused, should they be found to be fabricating.
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Go for it.
Do you have any knowledge of the punishment women used to receive just for bringing any charge of rape? Most women never did file charges. Prob'ly still don't.
I comprehend that pendulums swing, but your author belies any reason with either genuine fury or calculated opportunism -- that "pretend fury" that markets so well. He makes enough idiotic statements to make him worthless ground on which to start a discussion.
The thing I have hated most about "feminism" is the victimization it insisted on packing, part & parcel. You and these guys are just mirroring this, as I said earlier via "victim wars."
Worthless or worse. What's next, the "poor white boy victim of black guys?" Oh right, we already had that, too.
QUOTE(SpaceCowboy @ Jan 2 2005, 11:58 AM)
Okay, I’ll throw in one little rant.
Many years after our divorce, I was present when my ex was on the phone with a friend talking about something to do with today’s high prices, I don’t remember what.
So she says. “back when I had money” blah, blah, blah, referring of course, to the period when we were married.
I sounded pretty cold to me, and it was all I could no not to stand up and scream:
“You never “had money”. What you “had” was a husband who was willing to bust his butt working and share the money he earned.”
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Many years after our divorce, I was present when my ex was on the phone with a friend talking about something to do with today’s high prices, I don’t remember what.
So she says. “back when I had money” blah, blah, blah, referring of course, to the period when we were married.
I sounded pretty cold to me, and it was all I could no not to stand up and scream:
“You never “had money”. What you “had” was a husband who was willing to bust his butt working and share the money he earned.”
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I love you, SpaceDude. But your wife probably thought she was an equal if differently contributing partner. She could well have thought both those things -- that she had a husband who was willing and able to win the bread, and that she ("they") had money.
She could well have been merely abbreviating the awkwardness ("when I married to SpaceDude") out of the conversation.
But the idea that women who tend homes & children are merely recipients of their owner's generosity ... now that is cold, and dated.
QUOTE(Human Ills @ Jan 2 2005, 12:15 PM)
Heh...
"The Difference between Men and Women in a Nutshell, Tenth in a Series
Admittedly this is something of a repeat, but it's happened to me enough times that it deserves mention as a specific phenomenon.
Whenever there a problem crops up, a man's initial reaction is typically, "How can I fix this?" Women occasionally complain about this, because men can apply this coping mechanism in inappropriate circumstances, such as when the woman is complaining about something, and the man mistakenly thinks that if he fixes the problem, she will stop complaining. However, overall it's a good way of dealing with the world and getting things done.
Women, on the other hand, often have a strange way of approaching problems. At least, it's strange from the male viewpoint. However, it is very effective, so in that sense it's also a good way of dealing with the world and getting things done. A woman when faced with a problem will typically ask, "Where is a man who can fix this?" The really strange part is watching the difference in female behaviour when a man is around and when there is no man around.
A woman who is faced with a problem, and who has determined that there is no man around to solve it for her, will reluctantly do what any man would do: roll up her sleeves and get to work solving the problem. If there is water pouring out of the toilet, she will find the shutoff valve. If she is hungry and in a foreign country she will resort to gestures and her best attempts at the local language in order to find a restaurant or a supermarket. If stuck at the top of a steep, muddy slope she will pick her way down to safety.
However, should a man show up partway through the process, most women will first express annoyance that he wasn't there earlier, and will then drop all attempts to solve the problem, and leave it for him to do. The man, on the other hand, will recognize her storming away in a huff as a universal signal that he should finish solving the problem; he may even feel guilty that he wasn't there when the problem originally occurred, and feel that her anger at having to do it herself was justified."
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"The Difference between Men and Women in a Nutshell, Tenth in a Series
Admittedly this is something of a repeat, but it's happened to me enough times that it deserves mention as a specific phenomenon.
Whenever there a problem crops up, a man's initial reaction is typically, "How can I fix this?" Women occasionally complain about this, because men can apply this coping mechanism in inappropriate circumstances, such as when the woman is complaining about something, and the man mistakenly thinks that if he fixes the problem, she will stop complaining. However, overall it's a good way of dealing with the world and getting things done.
Women, on the other hand, often have a strange way of approaching problems. At least, it's strange from the male viewpoint. However, it is very effective, so in that sense it's also a good way of dealing with the world and getting things done. A woman when faced with a problem will typically ask, "Where is a man who can fix this?" The really strange part is watching the difference in female behaviour when a man is around and when there is no man around.
A woman who is faced with a problem, and who has determined that there is no man around to solve it for her, will reluctantly do what any man would do: roll up her sleeves and get to work solving the problem. If there is water pouring out of the toilet, she will find the shutoff valve. If she is hungry and in a foreign country she will resort to gestures and her best attempts at the local language in order to find a restaurant or a supermarket. If stuck at the top of a steep, muddy slope she will pick her way down to safety.
However, should a man show up partway through the process, most women will first express annoyance that he wasn't there earlier, and will then drop all attempts to solve the problem, and leave it for him to do. The man, on the other hand, will recognize her storming away in a huff as a universal signal that he should finish solving the problem; he may even feel guilty that he wasn't there when the problem originally occurred, and feel that her anger at having to do it herself was justified."
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I made a joke about this yesterday with Bart.
This is how we have (all) learned to do gender.
QUOTE(Human Ills @ Jan 2 2005, 12:33 PM)
And specifically for lil G.G......
"For those of you who might dismiss me as a 'whiner': how can you be a whiner if you demand nothing short of your rights? If a woman points-out any double-standards working against her, she is speaking-up for her rights. When a man does the same, he is 'whining'. It is a form of gender-discrimination if a man can't air a legitimate complaint without being called a whiner- 'whiner' being one of those loaded terms that is used to attack the messenger instead of the message itself."
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"For those of you who might dismiss me as a 'whiner': how can you be a whiner if you demand nothing short of your rights? If a woman points-out any double-standards working against her, she is speaking-up for her rights. When a man does the same, he is 'whining'. It is a form of gender-discrimination if a man can't air a legitimate complaint without being called a whiner- 'whiner' being one of those loaded terms that is used to attack the messenger instead of the message itself."
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You know, I could carry on a pretty good discussion about this. And I am not one-sided. My brother was one of the guys royally screwed in a nasty, nasty divorce when his wife listened to the ball-breaking b#tches she worked with (in Eugene, a town like the Bay Area where such animosities as hers -- and yours -- are cultivated) and lined up the nastiest lawyer in town. They didn't even have kids. I won't even into the details, but even a disabled cancer patient with a poor prognosis he was assigned heavy support payments for that witch.
Even so, the load of vitriol and hostility and short memories that your authors have unleashed provide little if any ground or incentive.
QUOTE(Bart Katz @ Jan 2 2005, 01:14 PM)
I was commenting threadwise to this.
As mentioned, in recent years my experience is that they don't initially say no. I'm disagreeing with what this author says.
I read it out of context from lil bart's dinosaur post.
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As mentioned, in recent years my experience is that they don't initially say no. I'm disagreeing with what this author says.
I read it out of context from lil bart's dinosaur post.
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Yep. You're in the Real World instead of the Pretend/Any Excuse For Anger one.
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