QUIZ - How sensitive are you?

1. Your boss puts up a Playboy centrefold at work. You

a. blush and ignore it.
b. graffiti it or pull it down.
c. find the afternoons aren't as boring as they used to be.
d. put up a male pin-up.

2. How many erogenous zones are there on a man's body?
a. None.
b. One.
c. Eight.
d. An infinite number.
e. She decides.

3. Using condoms is
a. the greatest gift a man can give.
b. a last resort.
c. blocking the natural flow.
d. like having a shower in a raincoat.
e. not a problem.

4. You're having a drink with a friend and he starts talking about problems with his wife or girlfriend. You
a. tell him to get a grip on himself.
b. buy him another beer.
c. buy him another beer.
d. tell him "your shout."
e. feel much better about the fact that you've been sleeping with him.

5. Safe sex is
a. doing it in a Volvo wearing a seat-belt.
b. the only sex.
c. keeping your juices to yourself.
d. when she's on the Pill.

6. It's the middle of the night and the baby is crying. Do you
a. snore extra-loudly?
b. toss for it?
c. get up? She carried the kid for 9 months, it's the least I can do.
d. wake your partner up to tell her?

7. When a woman says "no" she means
a. you're on the right track, try harder.
b. no.
c. whatever she means, she said no.
d. she's a lesbian.
e. I'm oppressing her.

8. You find out one of your work-mates is gay. You
a. welcome him with open arms.
b. start wearing rubber gloves.
c. look to him for total guidance.
d. tell everyone.
e. sweat every time he smiles at you.

9. How would you describe your penis?
a. It's kinda cute.
b. My love-pump.
c. Inevitably oppressive.
d. Fun.

10. You hit your thumb with a hammer. You
a. break the hammer.
b. whistle 'Que Sera Sera' as you nonchalantly hammer in the next nail.
c. give up.
d. run crying to the nearest woman.

11. The vacuuming?
a. What vacuuming? The house looks fine to me.
b. is penance for the patriarchy.
c. just seems to happen.
d. is a sort of meditation.

12. You're accused of sexism. How do you respond?
a. Apologise. Keep apologising. Get on your knees.
b. Slap her.
c. Listen, give it some thought.

13. The film "Deep Throat" is
a. a manifesto for rape and exploitation.
b. in the top ten.
c. a dentist's training video.
d. the sequel to "Jaws".

14. A male friend hugs you. You
a. hug him back, bury your face in his shoulder and groan softly.
b. pat him on the back and get it over with.
c. flatten him.
d. assume he wants sex.

15. Women's periods are
a. sweeter than wine.
b. artistic styles, like Picasso's "blue" period.
c. disgusting.
d. like red rags to a bull.
e. not a problem at all.

Scoring

To find out how sensitive you are, circle your answer for each question, add up your score and match it with the descriptions.

1. a. 5, b. 4, c. 0, d. 4

2. a. 0, b. 1, c. 4, d. 4, e. 10

3. a. 6, b. 0, c. 2, d. 3, e. 5

4. a. 1, b. 0, c. 0, d. 0, e. 3

5. a. 0, b. 4, c. 3, d. 1

6. a. 0, b. 3, c. 4, d. 1

7. a. 0, b. 4, b. 4, d. 0, e. 6

8. a. 5, b. -2, c. 8, d. 1, e. 2

9. a. 4, b. 0, c. 15, d. 4

10. a. 0, b. 4, c. 2, d. 6

11. a. 1, b. 5, c. 0, d. 3

12. a. 10, b. 0, c. 4

13. a. 4, b. -2, c. 1, d. 1

14. a. 4, b. 2, c. -1, d. 0

15. a. 6, b. 1, c. 0, d. 3, e. 4
How you rate

Score of 71 to 90

You are a highly sensitive man, ever vigilant to the possibility of displaying sexist behaviour or thinking. You've given priority to the women in your life, even to the point of dependency. In fact, you're too sensitive - you've assumed a burden of guilt and self-hatred. This prevents you from developing a confident and truly non-oppressive masculinity, as you continually seek pity and forgiveness. It's time to break out of this cycle. You have real strengths, such as your ability to empathise and listen, but these must be combined with assertiveness and self-esteem.

Score of 15 to 69

You have managed to combine a healthy and pro-feminist sensitivity with self-esteem and autonomy. You've come to terms with basic issues of sexuality, and show awareness and tact. You sometimes make mistakes, but you can handle this and you learn in the process.

Score of -5 to 14

This can't be said nicely. You're a patriarchal bastard. You don't understand women, and you don't particularly care. You have less listening skills than a brick. You think gay men are punching bags. You're probably insecure and hostile. There is positive potential in your rough-edged strength, but the value of this is thwarted by your insensitivity.

http://dir.salon.com/health/feature/2000/0...alth/index.html

"From 1981 to 1991, the NCI spent $658 million on breast cancer research and $113 million on prostate cancer. Medline, the comprehensive database of medical journals, has nearly 18,000 entries for breast cancer in 1966-1991, compared to fewer than 1,800 for prostate cancer and about 8,600 for lung cancer.

But who needs to bother with such facts when you've got a good theory? In 1990, as the Congressional Women's Caucus declared war on male bias in medicine, now-retired Rep. Patricia Schroeder explained, "I've had a theory that you fund what you fear. When you have a male-dominated group of researchers, they are more worried about prostate cancer than breast cancer."

The Women's Caucus, by the way, was especially incensed by a government report showing that less than 14 percent of the money spent by the National Institutes of Health in 1987 went to research on female-specific illnesses. What the congresswomen forgot to mention was that fewer than 7 percent of the NIH budget was allocated to male-specific problems, while the bulk of the money was spent on studying the far more numerous diseases that afflict both sexes. "

Can this be true?

No Running, No Jumping: The War Against Boys in Our Schools
By Charles W. Colson

The Cleveland Avenue School in Atlanta has all the amenities you would expect a new school to have: computer equipment, an up-to-date library, and modern classrooms. It has everything except a playground.

No, it wasn't an oversight. It was designed that way, in order to make little boys behave more like little girls. And it's part of a trend.

In 1998, Atlanta eliminated recess in its elementary schools. Other cities, like Philadelphia, retained something called recess, but it bears little resemblance to the unstructured play time most of us enjoyed as kids.

"It's a miracle that any man and woman get together... ever.

Scientists at the Whitehead Institute in Cambridge announced this year that human females have more in common with female chimpanzees than they do with human males. (We share 98.5 percent matching genomes with the chimps and only 98 percent with men.) Explains a lot, doesn't it? This means that a woman has a better chance of a beautiful friendship with Miss Chimpy Lips than she does with Orlando Bloom. Now we know why love affairs are so fraught with tension and why husbands and wives sometimes suffer the tortures of the dammed. We are very different species."

E. Jean Carroll on MSNBC
http://msnbc.msn.com/id/5271113/

From some blogger somewhere.....

The Difference between Men and Women in a Nutshell, Eleventh in a Series

A man asks, "Why should I ask for help when I can do it myself?"
Whereas a woman asks, "Why should I do it myself when I can ask for help?"

On Men's Rights and Issues

December 20, 2003

by Paul C. Robbins, Ph.D.

Like many men, I came reluctantly to men's rights and issues. I originally felt some sympathy for feminists, believing they meant what they said about "equality." They didn't, of course, and I soon had my doubts about some of their other claims.

I distinctly remember a campus protest about wage discrimination against women; my girlfriend expressed support, but I knew exactly how much she made-the same as I did as a graduate assistant. Sure, I made more money overall than she did--because I had a second job, though nothing prevented her from taking a second job except her choice.

Still, like many men, I observed feminism with some bemusement, not being too worried about its effects on my life.

Until I got divorced.

One thing divorce teaches a man is that women have real legal power, power backed up by the power of the state itself. A divorced woman's problems are the state's problems; a divorced man's problems are his problems. The state made sure I paid support; the state offered no remedy if she did not let me see the kids. It was hard to live this reality while being told women always got the short end of the stick. They don't, but by pretending they do, they can exercise victim power, and some nice legislator or judge will come rescue them. It's what the feminists count on.

http://mensnewsdaily.com/archive/r/robbins...bbins122003.htm

(snip)

"Many American women today are what I call FAPs-Feminist American Princesses. FAPs believe the world owes them everything-compassion, rights, money, freedom, respect. Or rather, that men owe them everything. The truth is that American women enjoy more freedom and more prosperity than about any other class of people in history-and still they complain. Because, of course, complaining gets them more."

(snip)

"Feminism's changes to the law have made it necessary for men to speak up for themselves, however awkward most of us men find it, and to identify those issues that must be addressed. Men are beginning to rebel against the system in obvious and not so obvious ways. If their issues are not addressed, the system will eventually fail for the simple reason that men's contributions to society are so great. To revive an old metaphor, we all live by a social contract; if that social contract is always unfair to men, men will no longer honor it. And they shouldn't."

(snip)

Father's Rights. Most men learn about the rights of fathers in divorce court. And mostly they learn fathers have few rights. Most divorces are filed by the wife, who receives custody of the children, child support, alimony, and the marital home. Dad is expected to take up residence elsewhere, pay his support, and see his kids when the court or his ex allow him to. If he fails to pay, he goes to jail. And this doesn't just happen to bad dads-any father can lose his right to his kids through divorce. Even very loving, responsible fathers. And men are blamed for all this-if men were just better husbands, why, women wouldn't be leaving them in droves. In the end, dad's rights are taken away without legal cause by a government that then hounds him with messages to "Be their dad" but does not hound women with messages to "Be their mom." Perhaps the latter would cause too much guilt in working mothers.

(snip)

Visitation Rights. The same government that so willingly takes away the rights of dad to be with their children also fails to enforce their right to visit their children. Enforcing their right to visit their children would mean doing something to mom to force her to let dad see the kids. And that would include preventing her from moving thousands of miles away from where dad lives.

(snip)

Child Support Enforcement. I don't have trouble with the notion that children need the financial support of the absent parent if a divorce occurs. I do have trouble with the notion that the federal or state government can jail a man for failing to pay, usually without benefit of a trial or an attorney. Jailing a man for failing to pay a debt assumes the man is guilty unless he can prove his innocence. As Sanford Braver points out, most divorced fathers pay their child support; if there's a problem with support payment, it's among unmarried fathers, most of whom are poor. Rounding up and jailing poor fathers is an unconscionable abuse of state power, especially when the state gives welfare money to the mothers-and then uses the threat of a jail to extract that money from dad to repay itself under the guise of collecting "child support." That's both dishonest and an unfair tax burden on poor fathers

(snip)

Reproductive Rights. At one time, women could be forced into parenthood but men couldn't. Today, that situation is reversed. A woman has a legal right to terminate a pregnancy for any reason, whether the pregnancy resulted from rape or consensual sex. The man has no choice but to abide by her decision. If he wants the child and she doesn't, he cannot prevent her from terminating the pregnancy. If she wants the child and he doesn't, then he is forced to assume all the legal obligations of fatherhood. And it doesn't matter if she retrieved his semen from a discarded condom or used the proceeds from oral sex to impregnate herself. Or if he was underage and couldn't legally consent to sex. Or if she lied to him about being "on the pill." If the man doesn't meet those legal obligations, he will be jailed. And if the state is going to jail men for failing to meet those obligations, the least it can do is offer men the same post-conception reproductive rights it offers women. That would include the right to refuse the legal responsibilities and rights of fatherhood in certain circumstances. Currently, post-conception reproductive rights are the only Constitutional rights reserved exclusively for women.


(wow, I thought Noma had come up with this idea himself. I guess more guys think the same way I do than I thought.)

Paternity Fraud. The idea that a man should be legally obligated to support another man's child makes one man responsible for what another man does. That's more that unfair-that's similar to punishing one man for a crime known to be committed by another. Many men misidentified as fathers are forced to pay even if DNA tests prove they're not dad. And many divorced fathers who discover their kids were fathered by another man must also pay. The old "presumption of paternity" principle-under which the husband is legal father to any child borne by his wife-was never an absolute principle that forced a man to support a child everyone knew was not his. It simply put some barriers in his way if he claimed the child was illegitimate. It's time to end the right of a woman to lie about who fathered her child and to end the power of the government to back up that right to lie with force.

(snip)

Domestic Violence. Every study ever done on domestic violence that includes both men and women shows that men and women either batter each other equally or that women batter slightly more than men. Yet the government portrays domestic violence almost solely as something men do to women. Men are more likely to be arrested for domestic violence, and once arrested may be required to undergo counseling that requires them to admit their guilt-in violation of the Constitutional prohibition against self-incrimination. Restraining orders against men are handed out like candy so judges won't be perceived as soft on domestic violence, but these orders often strip men of rights to their children and property. And virtually all domestic violence shelters accept women only. It's time to treat domestic violence as a human problem, not a "gender" problem

(snip)

Health. American men live about 7 fewer years than American women. Until about the 1920's, men and women had the same average life span. And men and women in less advanced countries have similar life spans. But the more a country progresses, the more the life span difference between men and women increases-in favor of the women. In the US, we spend about twice as much government money on women's health issues as we do on men's health issues, and about ten times as much on breast cancer as on prostate cancer. Men are far more likely to die on the job, in war, in auto accidents, and as a result of murder. They're also more likely to be executed for committing murder. They are four times as likely as women to commit suicide, ten times more likely if divorced. The powers that be then tell us the real problem is that men don't go to the doctor as often as women. Yeah, right.

(snip)

Military Duty. Women can vote, but only men are expected to register for the draft. And far more likely than a woman to be assigned combat duty. And, even though women rarely see combat duty, this is not held against them in promotions, so women who've never faced combat themselves can order men into combat. Women are not proven warriors; their presence may hinder combat operations as much as help them, endangering mostly the lives of men. Further, the presence of women creates a new problem for the military to solve-rape and sexual assault. As the recent problems at the Air Force Academy indicate, the result is a favoring of women for leadership (because women are supposedly more sensitive to rape victims) and a treatment of men as the "problem." This turns men in the military into second-class citizens while requiring them to carry out the primary burdens of military operations. A pretty blond woman whose truck crashes and who is captured by the enemy becomes a hero, though she did nothing heroic, while her rescuers have remained largely anonymous.

Man, what a thread. BBL.

(snip)

Legal Punishment. Men receive longer prison sentences for the same crime as women. A man who kills his wife gets about 16 years; a woman who kills her husband gets about 8. A woman who kills her husband can claim the "battered woman" defense, a defense unavailable to men. If a man and a woman commit a crime together, he usually receives more jail time because she is considered merely an accomplice. And virtually every criminal executed in this country has been a man, with a handful of exceptions.

(snip)

Rape. In California, a man received jail time for failing to withdraw immediately when asked to do so by the woman. Expanding definitions of rape intended to offer more protection to women subject men to greater likelihood of prosecution. If convicted, they must register as sex offenders. And rape shield laws hide the name of the accuser (the woman), but not of the accused (the man). Marital rape laws require a husband to obtain the consent of his wife each time he wants sex, but do not require a wife to obtain her husband's consent. And laws that define rape as "lack of consent" do not define what constitutes consent-for either the man or the woman. His consent his legally assumed. It's commonly argued that "no means no," but let's face it-virtually all women say "no" to sex initially while few ever state an explicit "yes." And women are almost never prosecuted for making false accusations of rape, though women have claimed rape for reasons as trivial as being late for curfew and DNA studies indicate about 25% of rape accusations are false.

Your author is a dinosaur .... at best. I'm gonna find a big toilet for all this. I'm going to toss it in, piss on it and then I am going to flush.

And I hope you find a better source of material.

Do what you want with it. I thought the issues he presented as Men's Issues were overall a good starting point for discussion. I decided not to cherry-pick those issues.

What about the idea of punishing women who make a false accusation of rape?

I've long held that people that bring a case to trial should face the same penalties of the accused, should they be found to be fabricating.

Perjury would be the existing crime. Tough to prove though.

I know that perjury is the existing crime. I'm talking about a reform that goes beyond that. What is the penalty for rape? That's the penalty for bringing a false accusation of rape. etc.

If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
Aristotle Onasis

Okay, I’ll throw in one little rant.

Many years after our divorce, I was present when my ex was on the phone with a friend talking about something to do with today’s high prices, I don’t remember what.
So she says. “back when I had money” blah, blah, blah, referring of course, to the period when we were married.

I sounded pretty cold to me, and it was all I could no not to stand up and scream:

“You never “had money”. What you “had” was a husband who was willing to bust his butt working and share the money he earned.”

No man, examining his marriage intelligently, can fail to observe that it is compounded, at least in part, of slavery, and that he is the slave.
H.L. Mencken

"Barbara Amiel writes on rape. Now, Barbara Amiel is an archly conservative writer, but it seems to be conservatives making most of the sense these days. Here are some excerpts.

A lot, though, has changed in the past 35 years. Our society is fast becoming a matriarchy. And like any other group in ascendancy, the matriarchy needs to demonstrate that it can do anything. A woman can look and behave like a slut—it's her right—and there will be no consequences. She may consent to intercourse on Thursday night, but if the chap is discourteous on Friday morning, the previous evening's sizzling sex will cool into rape.

...

In the past, any woman crying rape under such factual circumstances would have had to show feeble-mindedness to warrant society's protection. Going voluntarily up to a stranger's room for intercourse or its preliminaries, and expecting a man to behave as a light switch that can be turned off at will, may be technically her right, but it is both biologically and logically mad.

But then our current laws are divorced from sanity and justice. What they do show is that the matriarchy can get away with anything—which is, I suppose, the purpose of all terror.

Here's hoping that the matriarchy is on the wane, although I doubt it very much. Ladies and gentlemen, if you thought that "the patriarchy" was unfair and discriminatory... well, you haven't seen anything yet."

MARRIAGE, n.
The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress and two slaves, making in all, two.

--Ambrose Bierce

Heh...

"The Difference between Men and Women in a Nutshell, Tenth in a Series

Admittedly this is something of a repeat, but it's happened to me enough times that it deserves mention as a specific phenomenon.

Whenever there a problem crops up, a man's initial reaction is typically, "How can I fix this?" Women occasionally complain about this, because men can apply this coping mechanism in inappropriate circumstances, such as when the woman is complaining about something, and the man mistakenly thinks that if he fixes the problem, she will stop complaining. However, overall it's a good way of dealing with the world and getting things done.

Women, on the other hand, often have a strange way of approaching problems. At least, it's strange from the male viewpoint. However, it is very effective, so in that sense it's also a good way of dealing with the world and getting things done. A woman when faced with a problem will typically ask, "Where is a man who can fix this?" The really strange part is watching the difference in female behaviour when a man is around and when there is no man around.

A woman who is faced with a problem, and who has determined that there is no man around to solve it for her, will reluctantly do what any man would do: roll up her sleeves and get to work solving the problem. If there is water pouring out of the toilet, she will find the shutoff valve. If she is hungry and in a foreign country she will resort to gestures and her best attempts at the local language in order to find a restaurant or a supermarket. If stuck at the top of a steep, muddy slope she will pick her way down to safety.

However, should a man show up partway through the process, most women will first express annoyance that he wasn't there earlier, and will then drop all attempts to solve the problem, and leave it for him to do. The man, on the other hand, will recognize her storming away in a huff as a universal signal that he should finish solving the problem; he may even feel guilty that he wasn't there when the problem originally occurred, and feel that her anger at having to do it herself was justified."

Another fun site!

http://niceguy.dearingfilm.com/

"And "Where are the REAL men?" they'll demand, while wearing their Wonderbras, mascara and lipstick. "Why aren't there any REAL men left?" they'll whine, with their hair-extensions and acrylic nails. Utterly moronic.

North American chicks are living examples of bait-and-switch fraud-- They try to convince you that you're getting a premium product but three days after you bring her home, a screw suddenly pops-loose and she starts to give-off a high-pitched snarl. And the only way to make this nonstop grating go-away is through constant maintenance. High-priced pussy, yet it's still not quite worth it."

And specifically for lil G.G......

"For those of you who might dismiss me as a 'whiner': how can you be a whiner if you demand nothing short of your rights? If a woman points-out any double-standards working against her, she is speaking-up for her rights. When a man does the same, he is 'whining'. It is a form of gender-discrimination if a man can't air a legitimate complaint without being called a whiner- 'whiner' being one of those loaded terms that is used to attack the messenger instead of the message itself."

This is applicable to non- gender related political discussions as well.

Of course.

Another heh.

"When Are We Gonna Get Married" Demystified

"When their girlfriends keep pressing them to tie the knot, most guys are mystified. I mean, if things are going well now, why change? And if marriage is going to introduce a big change, why mess with something that's already working fine?

Well, you don't need to be mystified, because one of the services we offer here at BusterB's weblog is translation. In this spirit, the phrase, "So, when are you going to ask me to marry you?" translates as follows.

I'm tired of constantly having to act like a logical, mature, intelligent human being. I'm tired of trying to seem cheery and happy with life. It's exhausting. I want you to make a lifelong commitment to me so I can relax and be myself, which means being illogical, immature, childish, annoyed, bitchy, and vaguely dissatisfied with everything. I'm tired of being nice to you. It's time for you to promise me that you'll be nice to me for the rest of our natural lives. What? You think you're already being nice to me? Oh, buddy, you ain't seen nothin' yet!"

Hahah. I usually at least take em to dinner first. That is unless they already ate.

I understand there are real victims of rape out there. I also understand there are real victims of false allegations of rape out there.

I thought this was talking about how long it takes to legitimately get into someones pants or the other way round. Of course I may be dealing with a different demographic of women in my more recent experiences.

I wouldn't know how long it legitimately takes to get into a woman's pants. I've always waited for them to get into mine. 'Twas more than a bit easier while still in school, but my conscience is clean.

I was commenting threadwise to this.



As mentioned, in recent years my experience is that they don't initially say no. I'm disagreeing with what this author says.

I read it out of context from lil bart's dinosaur post.

Agreed. But, he still makes a couple of points in the paragraph.

"Whenever I did say anything to criticize her, she'd throw a hissy-fit. I mean, you've seen her when she loses her temper. She fucking threw things! She was an emotional terrorist!"

"Then you should've left her sooner."

"Well, I was really in love with her."

"How could you have been so absurd?"

"I know it sounds cliché, and I once scoffed at this, but love makes you do stupid things. Don't scoff, it's true. I was so in love, it blinded me to her ridiculous qualities."

"Well, how do you know it was love?"

"Well, it was love. Have you ever been in love? I think you haven't, so you can't understand what I'm talking about."

"I've really liked a guy once, but I don't know if I'd have called it love. What is love?"

"I can't define it, but I know it when I see it." I smile. That's what Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart said when he was asked to rule what falls under the category of 'offensive'.

"You're not a Supreme Court Justice being asked how to define 'what is offensive?', just answer the question. What is love?"

"I can't answer that question, love is ineffable. It's one of the great human mysteries." I reply. He snorts derisively and shakes his head.

"That's a cop-out answer." He crams more potatoes into his gob.

I looked him dead in the eye. "You're asking me to define the indefinable. People have been asking how to define love for centuries. It can't be explained because it's too many subjective, complicated things at once. It's not logical; in fact love is totally irrational. There's no equation for it. There's no nice, neat one-sentence explanation and it means a lot of different things to different people. It is sublime. It is enigmatic. It transcends words. It's like the Holy Trinity in Catholicism or the Tao in Taoism." I smack my palm on the table. "The closer you get to defining love, the more it recedes away from you! It's ineffable!!"

He is unimpressed. He shrugs. "Fine, avoid the question."

This squares with what my dad reports of his dating life after mom passed away. He stuck to (or close to) his own age group, where he found single women damned glad to have a "good man" as he styled himself.

He took to approaching single women his age in supermarkets with the line: "Do you have a good man in your life? Would you like one?"

It worked for him.

Maybe I should wait another ten years. It's a conundrum. Young women don't really know what they want and the older gals carry excess baggage. If I knew I only had a 3 year window, I might have played my hand better. But who knew?

We may be long-lost twins, HI.

The expectation, even in relationships, that the man has to be the primary initiator gets on my nerves, for a variety of high-fallutin and petty reasons.

Maybe so... can you spot me a $20

Actually, I think it's even worse when a fellow is in a relationship.

I did come with the idea myself. Apparently, others did so, as well.