Just so you know....................


Manure:

In the 16th and 17th centuries, everything had to be transported by ship
and it was also before commercial fertilizer's invention, so large
shipments of manure were common.

It was shipped dry, because in dry form it weighed a lot less than when
wet, but once water (at sea) hit it, it not only became heavier, but the
process of fermentation began again, of which a by product is methane gas. As the stuff was stored below decks in bundles you can see what could (and did) happen.

Methane began to build up below decks and the first time someone came below at night with a lantern, BOOOOM!

Several ships were destroyed in this manner before it was determined just
what was happening.

After that, the bundles of manure were always stamped with the term "Ship
High In Transit" on them, which meant for the sailors to stow it high
enough off the lower decks so that any water that came into the hold would
not touch this volatile cargo and start the production of methane.

Thus evolved the term "S.H.I.T " , (Ship High In Transport) which has come
down through the centuries and is in use to this very day. You probably did
not know the true history of this word.

Neither did I. I had always thought it was a golf term.

Do you believe me or is this something to do with Shipping Bulls High In Transit?

I don't know if I believe it, but it sure was funny.

I'm just passing this on.

Great stuff. We used to make little flamethrowers by lighting a match in front of the little red tube.

A friend says wd-40 is great for cleaning plastic computer cases. I haven't tried it though.

Water vs. Alcohol


It has been scientifically proven that if we drink one
litre of water each day, at the end of the year we
would have absorbed more than one kilo of Escherichia
Coli Bacteria found in water that contains feces.

In other words, we are consuming one kilo of poopy.
However, we do not run that risk when drinking rum,
gin, whiskey, beer, wine or other liquors because
alcohol has to go through a distillation process
of boiling, filtering and fermentation.

It is my duty to communicate to all of you people who
are drinking water, to stop doing so. It has been
scientifically proven that it is unhealthy and bad for
you.

THEREFORE - It is better to drink alcohol and talk
poopy than to drink water and be full of it !!

@#$!$ word filter.

Yeah....it does lose a little something in the translation....

You have to make a few sacrifices to have no real moderation.

It's probably about time I fiddle around with it yet again.

I don't give a poopely opp ashed crap about it. If I can say WTF and STFU and get away with itthen ain't no beachin fleas farkin on me or my peep shout outs.

Fo shizzle.

This was passed to me by some good-ole boys down in southeast Texas southwest Louisiana Bayou country. Very well informed friends there...and their boiled Crawdads, fried Catfish, Gumbo and Jumbalaya is soooo goood too!

Maybe I should shoot my doctor.



Maybe I should get more bullets.

Just in case you were not knowledgeable about this subject.
Does the statement, "We've always done it that way" ring any bells?
The US standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet,
8.5 inches. That's an exceedingly odd number. Why was that gauge used?
Because that's the way they built them in England, and English expatriates
built the US Railroads.

Why did the English build them like that? Because the first rail lines were built by the same people who built the pre-railroad tramways, and that's the gauge they used. Why did "they" use that gauge then? Because the people who built the tramways used the same jigs and tools that they used for building wagons, which used that wheel spacing.

Okay! Why did the wagons have that particular odd wheel spacing?
Well, if they tried to use any other spacing, the wagon wheels would break on some of the old, long distance roads in England, because that's the spacing of the wheel ruts. So who built those old rutted roads?

Imperial Rome built the first long distance roads in Europe (and England) for their legions. The roads have been used ever since. And the ruts in the roads?
Roman war chariots formed the initial ruts, which everyone else had to match for fear of destroying their wagon wheels. Since the chariots were made for
Imperial Rome, they were all alike in the matter of wheel spacing..The United States standard railroad gauge of 4 feet, 8.5 inches is derived from the original specifications for an Imperial Roman war chariot. And bureaucracies live forever. So the next time you are handed a specification and wonder what horse's ass came up with it, you may be exactly right, because the Imperial Roman army chariots were made just wide enough to accommodate the back ends of two war horses.

Now the twist to the story
When you see a Space Shuttle sitting on its launch pad, there are two big
booster rockets attached to the sides of the main fuel tank. These are solid
rocket boosters, or SRBs. The SRBs are made by Thiokol at their factory at
Utah. The engineers who designed the SRBs would have preferred to make
them a bit fatter, but the SRBs had to be shipped by train from the factory to the launch site. The railroad line from the factory happens to run through a tunnel in the mountains. The SRBs had to fit through that tunnel. The tunnel is slightly wider than the railroad track, and the railroad track, as you now know, is about as wide as two horses' behinds.

So, a major Space Shuttle design feature of what is arguably the world's most advanced transportation system was determined over two thousand years ago by the width of a horse's ass.... and you thought being a HORSE'S ASS wasn't important!

Excellent story.


http://www.coolquiz.com/trivia/didyouknow/animal_groups.asp

Did You Know?
What do you call a group of...

Antelope: A herd of antelope
Ant: A colony or An army of ants
Ape: A shrewdness of apes
Baboons: A troop of baboons
Bacteria: A culture of bacteria
Badger: A cete of badgers
Bass: A shoal of bass
Bear: A sleuth or sloth of bears
Beaver: A colony of beavers
Bee: A swarm, grist or hive of bees
Bird: A flock, flight, congregation or volery of birds
Boar: A sounder of boars
Buffalo: A herd of buffalo
Buck: A brace or clash of bucks
Caterpillar: An army of caterpillars
Cat: A clowder or clutter of cats
Cattle: A herd or drove of cattle
Chicken: A brood or peep of chickens
Chicks: A clutch or chattering of chicks
Clam: A bed of clams
Cobra: A quiver of cobras
Colt: A rag of colts
Cow: A kine of cows (twelve cows are A flink)
Coyote: A band of coyote
Crane: A sedge or siege of cranes
Crocodile: A float of crocodiles
Crow: A murder of crows
Cub: A litter of cubs
Curlew: A herd of curlews
Cur: A cowardice of curs
Deer: A herd of deer
Dog: A pack of dogs
Donkey: A herd or pace of asses
Dove: A dule of doves
Duck: A brace, paddling or team of ducks
Elephant: A herd of elephants
Seal: A pod of elephant seals
Elk: A gang of elks
Emus: A mob of emus
Ferret: A business or fesnyng of ferrets
Finches: A charm of finches
Fish: A school, shoal, run, haul, catch of fish
Fly: A swarm of flies
Fox: A skulk or leash of foxes
Frog: An army or colony of frogs
Geese: A flock, gaggle or skein (in flight) of geese
Gnat: A cloud or horde of gnats
Goat: A herd, tribe or trip goats
Goldfince: A charm of goldfinches
Gorilla: A band of gorillas
Greyhound: A leash of greyhounds
Hare: A down or husk of hares
Hawk: A cast or kettle of hawks
Hen: A brood of hens
Heron: A hedge of herons
Hog: A drift, or parcel of hogs
Horse: A team, pair or harras of horses
Hound: A pack, mute or cry of hounds
Jellyfish: A smack of jellyfish
Kangaroo: A troop or mob of kangaroos
Kitten: A kindle or litter of kittens
Lark: An ascension or exaultation of larks
Leopard: A leap (leep) of leopards
Lion: A pride of lions
Locust: A plague of locusts
Magpie: A tiding of magpies
Mallard: A sord of mallards
Mare: A stud of mares
Marten: A richness of martens
Mole: A labour of moles
Monkey: A troop of monkeys
Mule: A barren or span of mules
Owls: A parliament of owls
Oxen: A yoke, drove, team or herd of oxen
Oyster: A bed of oysters

Great stuff! Thanks.

G.O.L.F.

Gentlemen Only, Ladies Forbidden ... Not!


Yes, some people actually believe that the word "golf" originated as an acronym for "gentlemen only, ladies forbidden." Are you one of them? Unfortunately, it's not an uncommon mistake. The idea has been floating around the Internet for quite some time, and made the email rounds again earlier this year during the Annika-at-Colonial soap opera. But it's not true.


Like most modern words, the word "golf" derives from older languages and dialects. In this case, the languages in question are medieval Dutch and old Scots.

The medieval Dutch word "kolf" or "kolve" meant "club." It is believed that word passed to the Scots, whose old Scots dialect transformed the word into "golve," "gowl" or "gouf."

By the 16th Century, the word "golf" had emerged.

Sources: British Golf Museum, USGA Library

Headlines from the year 2029!

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California.


White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.

Baby conceived naturally - - scientists stumped.

Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.

Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica.

Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 036.

Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

85-year, $75.8 billion study: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss.

Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.

Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed, they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.

Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.

Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.

Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches.

IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.

Florida voters still having trouble with voting machines

Man finally asks for directions. Admits he doesn't have a clue where he's at or what he's doing.

Hi ya'll.....

At one time in my life, I thought I had a handle on the meaning of the word service."

"It's the act of doing things for other people."

Then I heard these terms which reference the word SERVICE:

Internal Revenue Service
Postal Service
Telephone Service
Civil Service
City & County Public Service
Customer Service
Service Stations

Then I became confused about the word "service." This is not what I thought "service" meant.

So today, I overheard two farmers talking, and one of them said he had hired a bull to "service" a few of his cows BAM! It all came into perspective. Now I understand what all those "service" agencies are doing to us.

I hope you now are as enlightened as I am.

A freind forwarded to me and I found it interesting enough to post here as food for thought.

If we could reduce the worlds population to a village of precisely 100
people, with all existing human ratios remaining the same, the demographics would look something like this:

60 Asians

12 Europeans

5 US Americans and Canadians

8 Latin Americans

14 Africans

49 would be female

51 would be male

82 would be non-white

18 white

89 heterosexual

11 homosexual

33 would be Christian

67 would be non-Christian

5 would control 32% of the entire worlds wealth, and all of them would be US citizens.

80 would live in substandard housing.

24 would not have any electricity.
(And of the 76% that do have electricity, most would only use it for light
at night.)

67 would be unable to read.

1 (only one) would have a college education.

50 would be malnourished and 1 dying of starvation

33 would be without access to a safe water supply.

1 would have HIV.

1 near death.

2 would be near birth.

7 people would have access to the Internet.

If you take a look at the world from this condensed perspective, the need
for acceptance, understanding and education becomes evident.

Think of it!

It certainly makes everyone who posts here among the world's elite.



And the biggest complainers about that would be US citizens.

And they'd complain about low paying jobs at the same time.

That reminds me of the old label given us in the sixties/seventies as the "Ugly Americans", over paid and over enduged.

The Brits complained during the war they were "overpaid, oversexed, and over here".

I've never had that much trouble overseas, but I stay out of certain places in any country, including ours, and try to treat everyone with respect in any country, including ours.

I never had any trouble getting cabs in Paris.

A fun little test:

How smart are you really?

I got 8 out of 11. I missed questions 4, 5, & 10. They are all trick questions, of course, so think long and hard.

Heh, I got 8 too. I knew they were tricks, but they caught me a couple times anyway.

I got 9, but I was warned it was a trick so I was a little careful. I think I don't know should be more prevalent. When did the doc say to start? Is it illegal for the dead to marry, or just impossible?